I wonder why....

I wonder why you don't like him. He is much more better then the others. Why don't you look at the brighter side before you disagreed with me?

Fine.. Sigh.. I wondered how I can let you know that I'm serious this time... Okay. Now at least I know you don want me to be serious. I know I gave you a shock today.. I never ever said I want to cook before.. But the feeling just came. And you know I cant stop that, the feeling came, I just want to do it.

I don't want to hide anything from him, if only I have a choice. I don't want him to get hurt. I will be sorry for that. But sometimes it's pretty sad if hide everything inside myself..

If my boyfriend was a perfect one, I can't promise that I will be with him forever. But if my boyfriend was an imperfect one, I won't leave him no matter what.. I keep my word. *wink*

Thoughts

I am sincerely sorry for my very late update. I am neither busy nor "lifeless" again. The truth is, I am lazy. Haha! Never changed. Okay..

First of all.. I want to wish my friends who r in serious relationships now. Hope you guys appreciate each others and give time 2 each other, try to understand each other and so on. Hope ya happy together forever. ^^

Hmm... Sometimes i wonder, 'What am I doing?' But you know, it's really hard to determine or conclude whether it's right or wrong. I am sure you do understand right? Your mind is telling you to do this, but you are doing the other way. It's not rational, no meanings, no benefits, no intention. It's just you. You know what is the best, you know exactly what you should do, but it's very annoying that, there's a very strong mind deeply inside your brain tell you that you shouldn't do what you think is right, but do whatever you want to do. Okay.. I know it's a bit confusing.. I hope it's just a bit? If you don't understand at all, er.. You may just skip it, I dont mind. It's just what I am thinking it right now.. May be I am just too free or may be I am just insane? Haha.. It happens sometimes... Then I will keep asking myself, 'Is it right? Why am I doing this? What will happen next? What if I didn't do it? ' The same questions appear again, again and again in my mind.

It's not very good to miss someone too much. I always keep it in mind. Haha! I can't control my mind but, i can control my actions. Most of the time, things do not work that way you expected them to be. Sometimes, I have to admit that, my brother is right.

I know the elders are disturbing sometimes, stopping you do this and that but, what they tell you you probably just don't obey or agree but at very least, you listen. It may not be helpful now but who knows in the future? Respect, watch your manners, be patient...

Alright, I think I'll stop now for this time. I know it's getting boring. XP Okay, I'll try to update a better one next time k? Take care everyone. ^^

Me me me

Argh~~~ The same feeling again... Shit.. I didn't mean to hurt. I couldn't control myself! I was trying very hard to accept what you are but.. I cant control the feeling arose. I can't stop it. I'm sorry...

Man.. Please please stop nagging me.. It's more than enough. I know what I am..

I'm sorry for what I did.. Please don't cry~~~~

Im happy~~~~

LOL... Why my previous posts all so moody??? Okayla.. At least now Im happy!. I mean IM REALLY HAPPY!!!! I love my BB so so much! Muackss!! Love ya love ya love ya!

Can't stop Can't stop!!!

Oh god.. I just cant stop thinking about it. Shit.. Keep waiting and waiting and waiting. For what??? Damn it.. I hate being like this again.. No choice but PLAY~~ Forget the reality by entering the gaming atmosphere. Am I insane? Nearly I think.

Yea.. I have stopped taking picture... Please don't ask why anymore. No point taking it. As if I would send to anyone else again... No. It will just hurt me more and more.

Shit.. Why so sad? I still have long path to walk. New people to meet. New things to learn. That decision I made it myself. 'Waiting for the old one instead of looking for the new one" Should I let it knock me down now? I won't die without men. What's the point being a millionaire, but you can't buy the thing you desire the most?

How much I wish I never had a feeling. Banana, how can I say forget then forget? Is he really a lousy guy? No!! I was the one being lousy. Shit Shit Shit!! I hate being honest to myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dying

The feeling.. is stronger than i thought... It's killing me Again.. Im tired.. Im sick of it. I know I was wrong. Im sorry..

Smart and Stupid had a fight. Stupid won. Smart left me and Luck was going with Smart. So now I have no Smart, no Luck...

Im dying.. My soul is trying very hard to leave my body. Trying its very best to leave me.. leave this useless body.. which cant do anything..

Regret

Now that Im regret. Damn regret. I don't want to lie and I hope there's no need to lie. I realized I had screwed everything up again. Again. Shit. Why must I ruin everything when it was all going so perfectly? Man.. I just hope that it's not too late. I still need time, more time to get ready. I wasn't trying hard and yet I'm wasting time here. I have to become better. Im sorry I really am... But i need time to be better and I promise I will try. I need to learn more and more and more. Please, wait... I don't care what's the feedback going to be, but at least, let me explain...

I want to explain.. Im serious this time.