I'm sorry for what I did...
I'm sorry for being moody
I'm sorry for raising my voice
I'm sorry that I said "I hate you"
I'm sorry for not trusting you
I'm sorry for being selfish
I'm sorry for not being better but worse
I'm sorry for not answering your calls
I'm sorry for not replying your messages
I'm sorry I didn't want to talk to you
I'm sorry for not understanding
I'm sorry for what I said although I know it hurts...
I'm sorry for not apologize to you face to face. Because I know you will say, "Never mind."
No matter what I said, you will always be the one I love the most. *shy*=)
Friday, September 4, 2009
Alone
Sometimes, when I think think think... The deeper I stepped into the love sea, the more I would want to stay away from the truth... The truth hurts me.. Lies would be helpful to keep a distance between me and the truth... Ergo, lies cant keep long...
Is that love? How long can it last? I'm not sure.. But I'm fear that it would fade... I'm afraid that you are not there whenever I need you..
I'm just an ordinary girl.. I just want a family, that keeps me warm and gives me ever lasting love... Are you willing to give me that promises? Or would you keep your promise...? I ain't here to get answers.. Or better, excuses... I am still me, that wouldn't trust anyone except myself... The deepest one inside myself.
Sometimes I would ask.. "If I was alone, would it be better?"
Is that love? How long can it last? I'm not sure.. But I'm fear that it would fade... I'm afraid that you are not there whenever I need you..
I'm just an ordinary girl.. I just want a family, that keeps me warm and gives me ever lasting love... Are you willing to give me that promises? Or would you keep your promise...? I ain't here to get answers.. Or better, excuses... I am still me, that wouldn't trust anyone except myself... The deepest one inside myself.
Sometimes I would ask.. "If I was alone, would it be better?"
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I wonder why....
I wonder why you don't like him. He is much more better then the others. Why don't you look at the brighter side before you disagreed with me?
Fine.. Sigh.. I wondered how I can let you know that I'm serious this time... Okay. Now at least I know you don want me to be serious. I know I gave you a shock today.. I never ever said I want to cook before.. But the feeling just came. And you know I cant stop that, the feeling came, I just want to do it.
I don't want to hide anything from him, if only I have a choice. I don't want him to get hurt. I will be sorry for that. But sometimes it's pretty sad if hide everything inside myself..
If my boyfriend was a perfect one, I can't promise that I will be with him forever. But if my boyfriend was an imperfect one, I won't leave him no matter what.. I keep my word. *wink*
Fine.. Sigh.. I wondered how I can let you know that I'm serious this time... Okay. Now at least I know you don want me to be serious. I know I gave you a shock today.. I never ever said I want to cook before.. But the feeling just came. And you know I cant stop that, the feeling came, I just want to do it.
I don't want to hide anything from him, if only I have a choice. I don't want him to get hurt. I will be sorry for that. But sometimes it's pretty sad if hide everything inside myself..
If my boyfriend was a perfect one, I can't promise that I will be with him forever. But if my boyfriend was an imperfect one, I won't leave him no matter what.. I keep my word. *wink*
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Thoughts
I am sincerely sorry for my very late update. I am neither busy nor "lifeless" again. The truth is, I am lazy. Haha! Never changed. Okay..
First of all.. I want to wish my friends who r in serious relationships now. Hope you guys appreciate each others and give time 2 each other, try to understand each other and so on. Hope ya happy together forever. ^^
Hmm... Sometimes i wonder, 'What am I doing?' But you know, it's really hard to determine or conclude whether it's right or wrong. I am sure you do understand right? Your mind is telling you to do this, but you are doing the other way. It's not rational, no meanings, no benefits, no intention. It's just you. You know what is the best, you know exactly what you should do, but it's very annoying that, there's a very strong mind deeply inside your brain tell you that you shouldn't do what you think is right, but do whatever you want to do. Okay.. I know it's a bit confusing.. I hope it's just a bit? If you don't understand at all, er.. You may just skip it, I dont mind. It's just what I am thinking it right now.. May be I am just too free or may be I am just insane? Haha.. It happens sometimes... Then I will keep asking myself, 'Is it right? Why am I doing this? What will happen next? What if I didn't do it? ' The same questions appear again, again and again in my mind.
It's not very good to miss someone too much. I always keep it in mind. Haha! I can't control my mind but, i can control my actions. Most of the time, things do not work that way you expected them to be. Sometimes, I have to admit that, my brother is right.
I know the elders are disturbing sometimes, stopping you do this and that but, what they tell you you probably just don't obey or agree but at very least, you listen. It may not be helpful now but who knows in the future? Respect, watch your manners, be patient...
Alright, I think I'll stop now for this time. I know it's getting boring. XP Okay, I'll try to update a better one next time k? Take care everyone. ^^
First of all.. I want to wish my friends who r in serious relationships now. Hope you guys appreciate each others and give time 2 each other, try to understand each other and so on. Hope ya happy together forever. ^^
Hmm... Sometimes i wonder, 'What am I doing?' But you know, it's really hard to determine or conclude whether it's right or wrong. I am sure you do understand right? Your mind is telling you to do this, but you are doing the other way. It's not rational, no meanings, no benefits, no intention. It's just you. You know what is the best, you know exactly what you should do, but it's very annoying that, there's a very strong mind deeply inside your brain tell you that you shouldn't do what you think is right, but do whatever you want to do. Okay.. I know it's a bit confusing.. I hope it's just a bit? If you don't understand at all, er.. You may just skip it, I dont mind. It's just what I am thinking it right now.. May be I am just too free or may be I am just insane? Haha.. It happens sometimes... Then I will keep asking myself, 'Is it right? Why am I doing this? What will happen next? What if I didn't do it? ' The same questions appear again, again and again in my mind.
It's not very good to miss someone too much. I always keep it in mind. Haha! I can't control my mind but, i can control my actions. Most of the time, things do not work that way you expected them to be. Sometimes, I have to admit that, my brother is right.
I know the elders are disturbing sometimes, stopping you do this and that but, what they tell you you probably just don't obey or agree but at very least, you listen. It may not be helpful now but who knows in the future? Respect, watch your manners, be patient...
Alright, I think I'll stop now for this time. I know it's getting boring. XP Okay, I'll try to update a better one next time k? Take care everyone. ^^
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Me me me
Argh~~~ The same feeling again... Shit.. I didn't mean to hurt. I couldn't control myself! I was trying very hard to accept what you are but.. I cant control the feeling arose. I can't stop it. I'm sorry...
Man.. Please please stop nagging me.. It's more than enough. I know what I am..
I'm sorry for what I did.. Please don't cry~~~~
Man.. Please please stop nagging me.. It's more than enough. I know what I am..
I'm sorry for what I did.. Please don't cry~~~~
Friday, June 5, 2009
Im happy~~~~
LOL... Why my previous posts all so moody??? Okayla.. At least now Im happy!. I mean IM REALLY HAPPY!!!! I love my BB so so much! Muackss!! Love ya love ya love ya!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Can't stop Can't stop!!!
Oh god.. I just cant stop thinking about it. Shit.. Keep waiting and waiting and waiting. For what??? Damn it.. I hate being like this again.. No choice but PLAY~~ Forget the reality by entering the gaming atmosphere. Am I insane? Nearly I think.
Yea.. I have stopped taking picture... Please don't ask why anymore. No point taking it. As if I would send to anyone else again... No. It will just hurt me more and more.
Shit.. Why so sad? I still have long path to walk. New people to meet. New things to learn. That decision I made it myself. 'Waiting for the old one instead of looking for the new one" Should I let it knock me down now? I won't die without men. What's the point being a millionaire, but you can't buy the thing you desire the most?
How much I wish I never had a feeling. Banana, how can I say forget then forget? Is he really a lousy guy? No!! I was the one being lousy. Shit Shit Shit!! I hate being honest to myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yea.. I have stopped taking picture... Please don't ask why anymore. No point taking it. As if I would send to anyone else again... No. It will just hurt me more and more.
Shit.. Why so sad? I still have long path to walk. New people to meet. New things to learn. That decision I made it myself. 'Waiting for the old one instead of looking for the new one" Should I let it knock me down now? I won't die without men. What's the point being a millionaire, but you can't buy the thing you desire the most?
How much I wish I never had a feeling. Banana, how can I say forget then forget? Is he really a lousy guy? No!! I was the one being lousy. Shit Shit Shit!! I hate being honest to myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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